Mom was very dependent on Dad. But after my father died, she and I were the only ones in the family. It can be said that besides work, she has nothing...but me. No friends or social contacts of her own. Most of the time, she stayed at home, often becoming more and more inclined to take control of my life. In the past few years, some friend of her (spiritual sister) said she could talk to and sort of “embody” my father. Up to now, mom goes to see “Dad” almost every month or two. This “Dad” became mom’s new way of recovering from her former dependence. Sometimes, she would tell me what she knew about "Dad" through her senior sister, which makes me feel even lonelier. Although I argued with her about it, no one could smooth things over. In my heart, what I want to hear is mom's own thoughts, her love, and care for me, not "dad's".